1. |
red sunrise
04:30
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Wandering, questioning, far and wide... Where can I rest? Where can I hide? I thought I found peace when I found you, like the peace that I found in the light of the moon. But the wind keeps blowing. It keeps blowing.
Is it a new end, or a new beginning? An open wound, or a slow kind of healing? Is it a path through the coming storm?
I lost a piece of myself last night as I dragged my things across the parking lot: away from a choice I couldn’t understand, away from the darkness at the edge of a thought, and into the darkness at the edge of the road.
Is it a new end, or a new beginning? An open wound, or a slow kind of healing? Is it a path through the coming storm?
It’s a red sunrise at a gas station I knew well. It’s one part comfort and two parts hell. The grass is higher than I recall, and the broken up asphalt and broken down tile has become home to old tires, a dead pigeon, and butterflies.
Is it a new end, or a new beginning? An open wound, or a slow kind of healing? Is it a path through the coming storm?
It's a red sunrise... Where can I rest? Where can I hide? I thought I found peace when I found you, like the peace that I found in the light of the moon. But the wind keeps blowing. It keeps blowing.
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2. |
lost
04:18
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In piles of pine needles
in a dark and dying forest
near a broken gravel beach
with a perfect mirror image…
I lost myself before, but somehow this feels different.
The life I turned away from keeps returning to my mind.
Measuring the years
in the waves of my hair:
the wind changes direction
and the waves give notice.
Now the birch leaves dance to a hushed melody.
I sit back and breathe as the breeze finds my body.
I feel it now, like never before...
in the quivering leaves,
in the grumbling trees.
The meaning of life is in these darkest moments...
holding onto this my soul finds peace.
Step lightly now
on broken twigs and roots.
Sift through this dusty soil
and your dusty memories.
As the clouds merge in their excited reflection, let go of your fears...
be born in dirt and mystery.
Feel it now...
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3. |
forget it
03:19
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Who are you missing when you’re all alone? You can’t write a love song thinking of no one. Where are you heading if not towards home? You’d best forget it.
In a pause in the road that could bring me to you... in a pause to put shoes on these tired feet, I see a dewless morning and charcoal skies in a gravel waste where tall pines once grew. I see a moment to choose.
Who are you missing-
A bird sings reply in a minor seventh, she coaxes me to life sense by sense: to the gentle forest breeze, and the groaning trees, and the whispers of the cedars end by end. It’s a quarter to ten.
Who are you missing-
Those beads of water on the diner window have got a path clear to the green below. They’re falling from the heavens – not the ones I know – and feeding the earth where new life grows. My last cup of coffee. I head for the road.
Who are you missing-
Get stoned.
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4. |
tangled
04:15
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Such tangled questions running inside. One day they’ll burn away... and leave me whole, or leave me dead, rising from my ashes, or finally laid to rest.
Years spent stumbling through broken trust, I thought I could repair myself. I turned my mind against my past and my shame but it runs so deep I can’t handle the pain.
So I pray for a fall that could take me away from this half-life of quiet blasphemy. I pray for the strength to build and grow, and use the pieces of my broken mind to figure out what’s buried below.
Now I gather up what I have left: this guitar and my cigarettes. Avoiding the eyes of those I love, I retreat… my pain reflected I can’t bear to see.
Revelation or resignation, it all looks the same to me. Another tired day passes me by in this body, in this lie.
So I pray-
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5. |
falling
03:16
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Falling into mystery, a way appeared before me
just on the horizon between the fading sun and the open sea...
You can swear on superstition or pray in the old religion,
but in the valley of shadow I found a path for the damned like me...
Do you ever think how easy you could end it all?
- these attempts at life take their toll
Do you think you’ll find what you’re looking for?
- the only god you know is the one you sold
The sun sets. It takes my breath. Moonlight hits my chest.
The pale rider stands before me, a rose in hand and the promise of rest...
As we move into night, my arms and eyes open wide...
I return to the stars gathered pieces of my healing heart.
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6. |
black moon
03:31
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Under the sunset I think of you. I watch the clouds turn against the blue. Maybe you think of me too. Maybe you could turn back the truth... we could dance together under the coal black moon.
Is that a lamp against the sky or a dying tree? Or my life worn through with fading memories? I see ropes of ivy winding rusted eaves, swirling thoughts in a cold cup of coffee... what might have been, never could be.
I feel it in my bones as I hear the door close, is that chill in my body the price of a soul? A piece of the earth growing tired and old? Either turn the page or roll another smoke... all that’s green burns red and gold.
Let me go. Let me find my way home… my heart’s turning to stone.
I hold myself against my end with an oath sworn to the meeting horizons. My eyes tighten against the night wind, and the roar of the city, the places I’ve been, the coffee in my beard, and the ashes in the garbage bin.
Let me go. Let me find my way home… my heart’s turning to stone.
I don’t want to die alone.
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nihilistfolk Toronto, Ontario
fingerpicking folk music from southern ontario
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